Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
