I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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