Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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