the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
