No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
