Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I got inside last night via doggy door
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
