I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
