It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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