I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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