I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
