you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I am available for nakedness
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
