i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
