i barfeds in our rink
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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