he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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