Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I can't put those talents on a resume
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
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