I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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