It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
