Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
tell me about the fingering
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