It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
