It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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