How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
