sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
