Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
