4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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