Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
