You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
