she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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