i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
