I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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