Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
