I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
