Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
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