dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
