they need to just BURY HIM!
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
