i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
When did angry sex become our thing?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Randomize
