Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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