Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Pants are for mortals
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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