you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
