A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
