Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
