Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Randomize
