But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
