So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
