how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
