Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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