Your tits are I can't wait for
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
