what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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