His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
