Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
