his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
